If At First You Don't Succeed…
The unfortunate truth is that many, many smokers (as many as 90%) do not manage to quit their habit on the first attempt. Most will need at least three attempts at kicking the habit, while others may takes months if not years to eventually end their addiction to cigarettes. It’s a restless cycle that is seemingly endless; you fail, you try again, you fail, you try again but slightly jaded from last time… and so it continues. With each subsequent failure, you become more convinced this is a habit for life, and the belief you can actually quit dissipates – quite literally – in a cloud of smoke.
Motivation is a key factor when it comes to quitting smoking; you need to feel good about your chances of success. If you go into an attempt to quit feeling you probably won’t succeed, you immediately lessen your chances of actually succeeding. It’s a tricky psychological trap to fall in to, but one that nevertheless catches people out every time.
Have you ever heard the phrase ‘mind over matter’? This sums up attempting to stop smoking perfectly. With each attempt, you need to try and place yourself in a mindset that this is your first attempt and it will work. Even though you have historical evidence to the contrary, the only way to kick the habit is to genuinely believe you can.
It isn’t easy; if it was, there wouldn’t be a thousand products on the marketplace offering various ways and means of quitting. If you haven’t been successful in your attempts before, an already difficult situation seemingly becomes impossible. To tackle it, you need to face the issue head on.
Write down why you think your last attempt failed. Be brutally honest; if the answer is ‘lack of willpower’, write that down. If you had outside influences – maybe a particularly stressful time at work, or a friend offering you ‘just one’ that turned into a return to old habits – then record these too.
When you have identified the cause of your stalled attempt, you can begin to tackle it. Look at the problem and work it. If, for example, willpower was the problem – you might need to increase your Nicotine Replacement Therapy for your next attempt. If you had a friend offer you ‘just one’, resolve to inform that friend that you really do want to quit this time and you would appreciate it if they didn’t tempt you. Or even if you suddenly found yourself in a stressful situation and needed the reassurance and comfort of a cigarette, you can try to arrange your schedule so that the first week of your new quitting attempt is as stress-free as possible. Whatever the cause, there is a workaround for it.
Only by identifying where you went wrong before can you really be assured of success in the future. When you’ve noted both the problem and how you’re going to fix it, imagine yourself putting a line under the entire episode and considering it closed. There is no point dwelling on past problems, particularly if they are going to bother your present and future success. With your fix, you can find your closure.
Start every new attempt like it is the first; previous failed attempts are now a closed chapter, something you are not and will not going to return to. Provided you identify the problem and work out how to solve it, there is no reason why this attempt to quit smoking won’t be the one that sticks for good.
Quit Smoking Support Groups: Are They Worth It?
In this therapy-friendly age, it was only a matter of time before attentions turned to those trying to quit smoking. Low and behold, one can now find a wealth of support groups designed to help people kick the habit once and for all – and in some countries, the support group initiative is sponsored with Government money. Support groups would appear to be the latest ‘in’ trend for those looking to stop smoking.
However, many have taken to internet forums to query if such group therapy sessions are really worth it – and with good reason. Group therapy is a recognised treatment pattern for many forms of illness and addiction, but it does seem a little extreme to apply the same therapy principles to smoking cigarettes as one would to crack cocaine or crystal meth. Smoking, after all, is not a lifestyle-adjusting drug and it is not illegal… so are ‘quit smoking support groups’ trying to crack a nut with a sledgehammer?
Whether or not you will respond to group therapy depends entirely on you as a person. For a start, group therapy – of whatever kind – requires an openness and frankness that many of us are just not capable of. While it can be a release in the cases involving alcohol and drug addictions – where the primary addiction is usually hidden from friends, therefore there is a relief in discussing the issue with other people – for most smokers, they have friends and family who also smoke. Therefore, that classic relief is immediately removed – there’s never been anything hidden about a smoking habit for the vast majority of people.
The idea of standing in front of a group and talking about personal problems is something that numerous people, naturally, shy away from. However, for others, there is a lot to be gained – working on the old philosophy of ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’. So it really is subjective, and the success of group therapy depends entirely on how you feel about talking on personal issues in front of a group of people.
The aim of support groups is to make people feel less alone, and to invite and trade tips on how to deal with kicking a habit. They also apply a certain amount of social pressure; for example, some alcoholics have admitted fighting cravings solely because they do not want their support group members to be let down. While this is encouraging, whether or not the theory transfers to smoking is open for discussion. Considering you probably have friends who smoke – and therefore, a set of people who would be pleased to see you pick up the habit again – the idea of a disapproving support group is not quite so powerful.
It is also worth remembering that quit smoking support groups are only part of an overall strategy aimed at you quitting smoking for good. They will not work alone, and will also take up time you possibly don’t have to spare. Considering the wealth of information and forums on the internet, it may be best to join up to an internet support group rather than attend a session in person. This way, you can be honest about personal issues as you are shielded by the natural anonymity of the internet – and you won’t need to make space in your schedule, either, as you can come and go as you please.
Nicotine Withdrawal Angst: How To Control It
If anything is a given when you’re quitting smoking, it’s this: you are probably going to be a little more irritable than you usually are. In fact, that’s something of an understatement – many people find themselves becoming an angry, half-crazed person during their first few weeks of kicking the habit.
The reason for this sudden burst of irateness is simple: nicotine withdrawal. It’s a painful, and physical, withdrawal process which leaves most of us wannabe quitters feeling on edge and jumpy. We become more likely to snap at people – often without reason – and generally radiate an aura of unpleasantness. A recent survey of office workers produced results which surprised no one; in terms of office stress, colleagues say having a workmate quit smoking is a high cause of tension and anxiety.
So, how to deal with it? Unfortunately, one cannot complete escape the inevitably of those first few weeks and the damage they can wreck on your emotional well-being. All you can do is learn to manage it, and hope your friends, family members and work colleagues will be understanding of the pressure you’re under in your attempts to kick the habit.
The first, and most important thing, is to tell people in advance that you plan to quit smoking – people need to be warned of the impending annoyance! Be up front and honest, and say that while you very much hope you will remain rational and in control of your emotions; you have to admit that may not be the case. Reassure everyone that if you do go off the rails, it isn’t about them, it’s about you. This may go some way to limiting the damage your seemingly limitless rage has.
Secondly, it’s time to organise your schedule. The worst days for the nicotine withdrawal rage are the first seven days after you quit. Wherever possible, organise things so you’re not having to deal with big, external pressures – if there’s any big meetings or family events you can postpone, do so. Better yet, postpone your quit smoking attempt until you have a relatively clear diary for the first week. By choosing the time you quit wisely, you are both more likely to succeed and less likely to snap at someone you really should not be snapping at.
Finally, when you’re in the moment and you feel like screaming at someone for no reason, it’s time to introduce the old “count to ten” trick. Pause in what you are doing, and silently count – slowly – from one to ten in your head. Say it like so: “one one thousand. Two one thousand. Three one thousand…” etc. By the time you have reached ten, take some deep breaths and do the best you can to calm yourself down. By giving yourself this cleansing, ten second period, you are less likely to lose your rag.
However, even with the above method, you may still have moments when it just doesn’t work and you say or do something you would never normally do. If this does happen, all you have left is the apology. Go and explain, at length, to the offended person – when you have calmed down, obviously – why the situation arose. Be shameless; heap all the blame on yourself and grovel if necessary.
Be assured, however; most people will want you to be quitting, so they’ll be able to take more from you than they normally would. By taking other steps to limit the possibilities of a nicotine-withdrawal-inspired screaming match, you should be able to navigate well – if not seamlessly – through those first horrible seven days.
